Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Meeting Wealthy, Ancient Mr. Loco

Met a very strange old man tonight at an expensive restaurant at the hotel next door. He was sitting next to me and just started talking to me, telling me what my soup was when it wasn’t what he said it was, but I gave up after the 2nd try. He told me a little about his background, he has a perfect American English accent but grew up in Mexico to a couple of wealthy parents. He carries pictures of his mother around with him, (including a very large ceramic one) and clearly has a thing against black people and gays (said some inappropriate things out quite loud which made me feel a little uneasy, he’s clearly not American!) Though, he loves Obama. And, he is very much democrat and loves the health care bill. I thought he was very much the opposite. I thought it was a littleeeee bizarre when he filled out the comment card with all my personal information (address, phone number, etc.) and then where it said spouses name he put his own. And then, he put it in his pocket. Also, he told me his name when I met him, and then showed me his national ID. His ID had a different name. When I asked him about it, he said he was changing his name because he wanted to sound British or something like that. Bizarrooooo. Lived all sorts of places, said some very, very strange things that go way over my head, and says he has a whole lot of shares in oil companies and makes about $30,000 a day. He paid for my dinner right off the bat. He has these strange sores all over and walks with a limp, he’s only 65 years old but seems as though he’s 75 or so. Before I said goodnight to him, he asked so, you’re really not a CIA agent? And you are a democrat, really? WTF? Anyways, before I realized just how strange he was I agreed to go to dinner with him tomorrow night. We shall see where this adventure goes, maybe I should ask him to buy me a BMW for a souvenir.

This morning, I awake to a knock at the door. At 6:45 am, despite my DO NOT DISTURB sign. I didn’t think too much of it, but it was enough to get very sluggish me out of bed. I noticed my phone was flashing. There was not one, but TWO notes that had been slipped under the door. One of which was from 5:45 am. Lauren, please call me as soon as you wake up. The second one read as follows:

Miss Lauren Marie Basler:
Just to let you know that Mr. Stephen David Foster called to leave the following message: I really enjoyed last night, my phone number is …… ext. 410. I tell you, I am separated from Mary Caroline, my wife of 14 years. I would like to marry you and have children. Please let me know if you accept as soon as you can. Thank you, have a nice day!

Oh my god this guy is a psycho. 5 minutes later, my phone rings. REALLY? So I pick it up “Hi, what are you doing? Huh? It’s 7 am I’m sleeping!! This city doesn’t wake up until at least 9!” So I go to tell him that I’m sorry, but I have a serious boyfriend at home, and I drop the damn phone and it disconnects. I may have even broken it. But damnit, I want to tell him that he shouldn’t pursue it (cause frankly, I don’t like 7 am phone calls) so I call him back. It took me 3 tries and 2 disconnections before I finally got through. And I tell him. But he still wants to have breakfast, lunch, AND dinner preferably, but I told him that we could have dinner the following night, so I kept it at that. What a morning. It was 7:15 am and I was wide awake but exhausted. I napped in and out a little while longer.

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